But Everyone Feels This Way

January 1, 2024
A 20-something Canadian autism activist and social media influencer discusses how psychiatric diagnosis liberated her from the painful ignorance in which she had lived regarding her own autism. As a child, Layle struggled with frequent panic attacks, hyperventilation, fits of crying "from stress, frustration, exhaustion, or all three at once," and the inability to deal with changes to her daily routine. Others would try to comfort her with the observation that "everyone feels this way," but no one could offer insights that could help her understand why her reactions were always so extreme or why she missed social cues and often felt so uncomfortable in her own skin. She wrote her first suicide letter when she was 8 and showed it to her mother, who could only tell her that "the things you're upset about aren't as big of a deal as you think." In school, Layle discovered that while she excelled at anything that involved pattern recognition, like math or dance, she had extreme difficulty with tasks that required inference, such as literary analysis. On the verge of taking her own life, she was hospitalized at age 15 and diagnosed with autism. Gradually, the author learned that all the techniques--especially the social ones that had made her seem "too happy, too smiley, too skippy, too preppy" to her peers--were part of a larger strategy of "masking." Medication helped--"With the medication, I'm no longer trapped in a situation where everything's happening all at once and I can't focus on one thing"--and the author was eventually able to celebrate her neurodivergence. Genuine and heartfelt, this book will appeal to Layle's many followers on YouTube and TikTok as well as anyone seeking insight into what it means to live as a young woman navigating autism. A candid and instructive memoir about neurodivergence.

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April 29, 2024
TikTokker Layle discusses life on the autism spectrum in her illuminating debut. As a child, Layle mimicked the behavior of others to get along socially, assuming that “everyone feels this way.” Then, at 15, she was diagnosed with autism spectrum disorder. While the diagnosis helped Layle contextualize her feelings, she still struggled and went through several bouts of suicidal thinking. After discovering TikTok during the Covid-19 pandemic, Layle quickly gained followers by posting videos about her experiences with autism. Combining autobiography and advice, Layle, now in her 20s, provides detailed guidance for others on the spectrum, covering such subjects as boundary setting and managing “out-of-control” feelings. She has pointed words for neurotypical readers, too, about the difficulty of generalizing people with autism due to the spectrum’s wide range of symptoms, and the underdiagnosis of women in particular. Empowering and educational, this should be required reading for anyone seeking to better understand themselves or a neurodivergent loved one. Agent: Emily Nordstrom Higdon, Westwood Creative Artists.