The Perfectionist's Guide to Losing Control

November 7, 2022
“What if your perfectionism exists to help you?” asks psychotherapist Schafler in her eye-opening debut. The author suggests that perfectionism is a “strength” to be harnessed and outlines the five types of perfectionist: classic, Parisian, procrastinator, messy, and intense. Parisian perfectionists, she contends, want everyone to like them but are embarrassed about how much they care, while messy perfectionists love to start projects but usually don’t finish because they become frustrated that the execution isn’t flawless. She posits that the line between the types is porous and that some individuals may display different types based on context: “You can be a messy perfectionist when it comes to dating but a classic perfectionist during the holidays.” Contrasting adaptive and maladaptive perfectionism, Schafler urges readers to emulate the former, which recognizes that perfectionism will always be out of reach but finds value in the striving, while the latter believes in the possibility of achieving perfection and feels discouraged by the inevitable failure to do so. Schafler’s thoughtful treatment of perfectionism offers a fresh perspective, and the client anecdotes enlighten, as when she describes a “classic” perfectionist who was “so clean and crisp” that it looked “as if she’d purchased all her belongings earlier that morning.” The result is an insightful guide on how to sweat the details.